Wednesday, 13 April 2016

Rejection - how do you take yours?

I just read a blog post on social media, about a nail tech who was upset that one of her long standing clients called up to say she is going to someone else because they are cheaper.  It happens to all of us and it is a sucker punch to the stomach when it does...but why? 

The client was made redundant and the justification for the move was plausible, she is doing what is best for her self and her life. We have all done it, found a different hair dresser which is closer, or cheaper, changed educator because someone else offers something different, we have even changed brands of coffee cause they have been on offer or shopped in a different super market.

The tech who posted about her customers betrayal on the social media post went onto to say that she was worried for her business, that it kept her up at night. 

I totally related to this, understanding the tortured and torment we put ourselves through when a client decides to go somewhere else. What we have to realise is essentially we are feeling rejected!

In Latin  rÄ“icere, rejection means "to throw back," and is the ancestor of the word rejection. Nobody likes to feel  rejection, to have something thrown back at you, because it makes us feel as if we are not good enough. 

If you are confident that you do a great job, that your  up to date with education and offer the latest application methods. Then there is nothing more you can do and you should accept it and move on. 

But it is hard right? Not taking this as a personal rejection, we put our everything into our craft, so how come someone else can't appreciate it. Put yourself in your clients  position, think about the times you have gone for something  better, brighter or cheaper.  Did you worry about how the person who used to provide you with a service would think, did you personally reject her or where you thinking about your own self and how to better your own situation.

You client is never rejecting you when she leaves, she is thinking of her self and how she can manage her life the best way she can. It is nothing personal, and when you start thinking that way you can move on and sleep better. It has taken  me 45 years to understand that human nature is essential selfish and we are only ever considering how we personally feel about something. 

How can you make your self feel better in that moment of rejection? How do you change the negative thought process? 

Well I zoom into the other persons shoes and look at her position, I begin to realise she is not even thinking or considering me at all.  She is doing what I am doing thinking about what is best for myself and how I FEEL about it.