But those things are not the only reason, I have managed to I have loose all this weight….., sure the activity is there and without that change my body would not change….however there is something far more important that many men and women forget to change when they start on their ‘new road to health and fitness.
'I have finally got my mind right' with the help of an amazing therapist as there is no way I have the tools to deal with ‘head stuff’ alone.
We all have it….that little voice inside us, which is set to manipulate and destroy us, encouraging failure so it can win and succeed.
I find this voice gets louder the more I ‘get better’ the healthier I am in body and mind…the soft dulcet tones start whispering in my ear. “your hungry….." "why do you want to do that…" "go and watch some TV…"" your rubbish at that…."" why you writing this bog…no one will read it!" " this article sucks and you don’t make sense……”… I can hear him persuading me that ‘his way’ is better…that my new chosen path, those gaols that I set for my self are rubbish…and I was always happy before…..’so chicken what has changed?’ he says….Yep he even pretends he is my friend.
Let me tell you what happened to me this week……
I have a work out injury at the moment, which means I have to alter my regime a little, I have also reached a plateau with my weight loss! I know all the logical answers, that my body is in recovery mode, that after Christmas break I have most likely been the victim of calorie creeping, and with two injuries in the last few weeks, I have reduced the intensity of my workouts……..BINGO! Here he comes with his sneaky little ways telling me that its pointless, that I can’t loose any more weight, that I haven’t lost much anyway and look no different, it is pointless swimming cause it won’t be as effective as kick boxing…..bla… bla….bla……. seriously this is the conversation I have in my head most days.
So I spent all day on Wednesday debating with my voice that I should go swimming, should I waste my time driving to the pool for a few mins of worthless exercise…….finally battling all my inner demons and the temptation of sitting at home with a cup of tea watching neighbours. I got into the car and drove away…….it must of been about a mile down the road….when my ‘true self’ came alive, when I realised that the negative, pessimistic emotional state was not me really, I found my self on that car journey….and laughed out loud in the face of my voice…..’Ha I won!’
So what has this got to do with my blog and nails…..nothing I suppose…..but what I a trying to say, using the example of my weight loss and fitness, is that my voice has been with me all my life highlighting the pro's and con's of everything in my life, as I suppose, has yours! Well that very same voice is the one that wants to stop you succeeding in anything you do and in order for it to ‘win’ It will tell you 'you can’t do it', it will tell you that 'whats the point in starting you know your going to get frustrated and stop'…it will tell you that 'everything you do is rubbish and useless and so don’t even start….run to the store and grab and tub of Ben and Jerry’s instead'.
It is hard…….but look at me…I have lost 29 kg, I have dropped from a size 24/26 to a size 18/20. I can run up the stairs and leap onto my husband for a cuddle. I can stand for longer, I don’t feel as self conscious, I smile more, and I actually like the way I look (sometimes) I no longer hide…from life…..and I am not done yet. I have another 12 kg to loose…and I don’t have the muscle definition I want yet….so here is to the next 12 months…and the eventual control i have to tell my voice to ZIP IT.